top of page
Search

A Mile In Her Shoes: How To Say Goodbye To A Friend

Van Gogh painted several still lifes of shoes or boots during his Paris period. This picture, painted later, in Arles, evinces a unique return to the earlier motif. However, here Van Gogh has placed the shoes within a specific spatial context: namely, the red-tile floor of the Yellow House. Not only may we identify the setting, but perhaps the owner of the shoes as well. It has been suggested that this "still life of old peasants' shoes" may have been those of Patience Escalier, whose portrait Van Gogh executed around the same time, late summer 1888.
Shoes (1888) by Vincent van Gogh. 
 

Trigger Warning: This piece discusses suicide and mental health struggles. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or a mental health professional. You are not alone.

 

I wrote this a few weeks ago while processing the loss of a college friend. I’ve sat with it for a bit, but I think it’s time to share. . I wasn’t sure when—or if—I would share it, but as the dust settles and the silence lingers, it feels important to speak honestly about grief, mental health, and connection.


The group of paintings called "The Last Summer's Work," left behind in Kensett's summer studio at Darien, Connecticut, at his death in December 1872, was the subject of great wonder and fascination among the artist's admirers, friends, and eulogists who gathered in tribute to him later that month at the Century Club. Their wonder was a factor partly of sheer novelty, for none of the works had been seen before, and as a body they were interpreted to be Kensett's ultimate testament of his vision and sensibility. To the assembled, however, none of those pictures better represented the absolute expression of the artist's distilling and suggestive eye than this, in which he eliminated any evidence of landfall but, in a way reminiscent of few artists but J. M. W. Turner, introduced a radiant sun suspended above the open ocean. "It is pure light and water, a bridal of the sea and sky," averred one of the eulogists, and asked, "Is it presumption in a poor novice in art like me, to say that this is a great picture?"
Sunset on the Sea (1872) by John Frederick Kensett.

Harper Lee said it best: You have no idea what someone is going through unless you walk a mile in their shoes. Even if those shoes look designer, you don’t know if the wearer's feet burdened, back aches, or toes pinched. What looks like a vibrant life could be someone’s personal hell. What seems like a coveted shoe might actually be a medieval torture device. These are the thoughts racing around in my mind. You might wonder—why am I thinking of birds in Alabama?



This composition of flowers shown in a seasonal progression from spring to winter, paired with an auspicious motif of cranes, promotes longevity. The brilliant colors, strong ink outlines, gold-leaf background, and profusion of pictorial elements are typical of the decorative formula established by Kano Motonobu (1476–1559), founder of the Kano school of painting, while the boldness is reminiscent of his grandson, the prolific Kano Eitoku (1543–1590). The exaggerated dimensions of the pine and cedar trees, the attempt to create space for projecting branches in the crowded composition, and the depiction of brushwood hedges in high relief suggest that the work dates to the late sixteenth century. In their elegant grandeur, these screens reflect the lavish taste that prevailed in the mansions and temples of the capital during the period.
Birds and Flowers of the Four Seasons. Japan Late 16th century.


Recently, one of my college friends passed away from suicide. Her life looked perfect. Her social media showed travel pictures, vibrant colors, and an active social life. She had a great job and lived in a bustling city. She was living the dream that every twenty-something aspires to achieve. Yet no one knew the invisible nightmares that plagued her mind.


I went to college between 2015-2019. It was a great time to be a student. In this pre-pandemic world, beliefs didn't divide people. You did not need to lead a crusade every time someone disagreed with you. The biggest controversy on campus came from a Netflix show.


In 2017, The Netflix show 13 Reasons Why opened the door for young adults to discuss mental health. Its graphic nature showed millions of people the devastating reality of a split-second decision. If life were a chess game, this program showed the power each piece. A minor interaction between a rook, pawn, or bishop could save the player. One conversation could be the lifeline someone didn’t even know they needed. So, what do you do when someone in your orbit dies this way?


Title: Heavenly Scene with the Gods of Olympus Surrounding a Chess Board, Poseidon and Pan Below Artist: John Carwitham (British, active ca. 1723–60) Date: 1723–41 Medium: Engraving Dimensions: Sheet: 7 3/16 × 8 1/4 in. (18.2 × 21 cm) Classification: Prints Credit Line: Bequest of Gustavus A. Pfeiffer, 1953 Object Number: 53.651
Heavenly Scene with the Gods of Olympus Surrounding a Chess Board, Poseidon and Pan Below by John Carwitham.

I’m not a mental health expert. But, when I heard the news, I felt compelled to reach out—to people I hadn’t spoken to in years. Former classmates with impressive careers and busy lives. We had moved on, but in this moment, we are knocked back in time. The past and present blurred as we mourned the life of someone we used to know.





Comments

Me on my first day of graduate school

Rachel Huss

Thank you so much for stopping by and reading my blog! Please reach out if you have any ideas for content, partnerships, and more!

Let the posts
come to you.

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest

Let me know what's on your mind

Subscribe to get exclusive updates

Thanks for subscribing!

H.A.T

bottom of page